Sunday Horrors revised

It is a great pleasure for me to announce that i have finally come out of the weekend with something to write about the movies that i have watched: horror, lots of horror.

One good, one indescribably bad, one that actually (after years of torturous boredom) actually made me aver my eyes now and then, and one that people close to me and my neurologist should watch to fully estimate the depth of my mental problems (I’m being completely and honestly serious here).

The first one is the bad, very bad, a badly done surrogate product of the trend unfortunately started many years ago by the Blair Witch Project. That one didn’t scare me then, no other has ever scared me since, nor has my appreciation for hand held camera grown in any way or direction.

Speaking of direction, Grave Encounters has none whatsoever, none, niet, niente, nada. A more than boring and uselessly gory story about a film crew who stake out haunted places looking for proof: well, damn boys you found it, why so surprised. The plot, beyond inconsistent, is actually non-existent: the film and the people in it move around for an hour and a half without aim, of course not finding an exit, randomly spewing blood or encountering ghosts that want to remind the audience of much scarier ones like The Ring’s dead faces or any well done nippon appearances. In the end a sole survivor finds the (or course) basement lab of the crazy doctor, nurse spirits like American Horror Story but far less successful, probably lobotomized and ready to go home on doctor’s orders. At one point in the shooting, which he, the boss of the crew, never ever switches off (of course!), he sends us the audience to fuck off. And we happily reply in kind.

Then it was an actually well done American production: Cassadaga, a psychological horror with psychics and ghost possessions. The plot was fair, all in all very watchable and to be praised for one among other good reasons: deaf lead possessed lady didn’t do one stupid thing. Like running up stairs instead of out of the house, you know the classic tropes of stupid girl in b-movies; nope, she does everything right and actually kills the killer, kudos!

The Red Shoes, production of Japan, a clear nod to the classic of the same name even though the shoes actually look neon pink. This was classy, classic and scary. Runs smoothly with a good plot, not too many surprises in it but that’s how it should work: knowing what’s coming and still being scared enough to switch on the light is the evident sign of a good horror.

Last but not least is 1408, the ‘yet-another film’ from a Stephen King novel with John Cusak and Samuel L. Jackson. A very psychological thriller, indeed. I had watched it when it came out in 2007 but I didn’t really grasp the full significance of it: inner me saying ‘hey, that’s basically how I sleep!’. Problems, problems, problems but now I have the material to explain and prove why I have messed up insides.

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